I've been down in the dumps for a few weeks and worrying about Tian and the wait, but I want to try and focus on the positive.
Here's some good stuff that happened over the last two weeks:
Tian got her care package! We sent a second one through www.BlessedKids.com Adele who runs it sends the packages from China and is able to track them, so we know it got there on the 18th! So Tian and the orphanage know she has a family coming. We sent a teddy bear, photos of our family, treats for the staff, disposable cameras for them to take photos of Tian's daily life, and a letter including some questions about her life and care which we hope they will respond to and bring when we pick her up.
We got our Brown Envelope from the US Consulate in China. This doesn't really mean anything, except that they have our paperwork and are ready for us to come. It just feels good to get mail from China, even though it has nothing directly to do with Tian personally.
Learned that if we don't travel in Sept. as we'd hoped that we may still be able to go in Oct. It's a tough month for travel due to a week-long national holiday and a big trade fair and usually our agency doesn't send groups. Because we are in the Waiting Child program and not a big group, we MAY have the option of going in Oct. I'm still hoping for Sept. though...
Our friend Marsha finally got her travel approval after waiting 147 days! (Yikes...we are on day 52 and I'm already nuts!) She is going early August and plans to visit the SWI and try to see Tian! Also, another friend Vicki is in China now and hopes to visit the SWI earlier in Aug.
We ordered our travel Visa's. The cost is doubling as of Aug. 1 and they are good for 6 months...so we decided to go ahead and try to get them. We'll see how it goes. We have a friend whose application was turned down without a specific travel itinerary.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The Wait
I've had a hard time this past week. I feel the stress like I felt during the wait for our referral with Clio. There have also been some stressful issues at work and I'm not sleeping well...I'm sure it's all inter-related. I really wanted to hear something this week...either photos from someone visiting China or new about our travel from the agency. Unfortunately, none of the above.
Each day we don't get news from the agency means longer until we travel. While I knew August was a long shot, it is now shot. No chance we will travel then. I had my hopes pinned on mid to late Sept. and it's still possible, but getting scarily close if we don't hear something soon.
Oct. is a tough month for travel to China. The first week is a National Holiday and all government offices are closed. (Who am I to complain about government holidays...) The 3rd and 4th weeks are a big trade fair which makes travel difficult and extra expensive.
The good news is that I emailed my agency and learned that while it may cost us an arm and a leg, because we are in the waiting child program and won't be with a big group, we can possibly travel in Oct.
I SO want to be with our Tian by her first birthday. I know she won't know the difference, but we sure will.
I have been emailing a lot with one of my online friends Lisa who has very similar dates to ours. She and I have decided to try to frame our thoughts more positively. So we are saying that we don't expect to hear anything until late August and will travel "sometime before the end of the year." While we both desperately hope both things happen sooner, framing them in a more realistic to worst case scenario may help us to hope for the best but be prepared for a longer wait. I hope it helps.
Each day we don't get news from the agency means longer until we travel. While I knew August was a long shot, it is now shot. No chance we will travel then. I had my hopes pinned on mid to late Sept. and it's still possible, but getting scarily close if we don't hear something soon.
Oct. is a tough month for travel to China. The first week is a National Holiday and all government offices are closed. (Who am I to complain about government holidays...) The 3rd and 4th weeks are a big trade fair which makes travel difficult and extra expensive.
The good news is that I emailed my agency and learned that while it may cost us an arm and a leg, because we are in the waiting child program and won't be with a big group, we can possibly travel in Oct.
I SO want to be with our Tian by her first birthday. I know she won't know the difference, but we sure will.
I have been emailing a lot with one of my online friends Lisa who has very similar dates to ours. She and I have decided to try to frame our thoughts more positively. So we are saying that we don't expect to hear anything until late August and will travel "sometime before the end of the year." While we both desperately hope both things happen sooner, framing them in a more realistic to worst case scenario may help us to hope for the best but be prepared for a longer wait. I hope it helps.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Theatre or Church?
Lately I have found myself longing for more community, more friends, more connection, more discussion. Since becoming parents, Dane and I have accepted that doing theatre work as we had in the past was not possible. Although, we'd love to continue to do it, neither of us can accept being away from our family 4-5 nights a week for rehearsals.
I really miss the close friendships, the camaraderie, the community, the creativity, the discussions, the drama (not just the stuff on stage!), the belonging. So many of our friends are theatre connections and we haven't done a good job of keeping up with them without the structure of regular rehearsals and shows.
Since becoming a mom, I've also found myself thinking a lot about religion and what role it should play in our daughter's lives. Neither Dane nor I is religious, but we both were raised going to church and think it was probably good for us. I like the community aspects of it. I think there are lots of good things about church, but am not interested in a dogmatic approach, or one that treats women as inferior.
I somewhat jokingly told Dane a while back that we should start "Art Church" in our basement. Get a group together to do artsy stuff every Sunday. I would LOVE that! Also, I'd like to be more involved in our community and in helping others and have opportunities for our kids to learn from this as well.
So I took this quiz at Beliefnet.com and it tells me I'm a match for unitarian universalism. I've heard of that, but didn't know much about it. So I googled "unitarian and Parker CO" and low and behold found a church I didn't know existed here in Parker. www.prarieuu.org
Reading their website, I was astounded to learn that my personal beliefs and desires are really mirrored in their philosophy. As I understand it, they gather together to learn and share. They are very accepting of different religious believes or none at all. I am hoping that Dane will feel comfortable with their tenants too. I really feel "called" to see what they are all about.
I really miss the close friendships, the camaraderie, the community, the creativity, the discussions, the drama (not just the stuff on stage!), the belonging. So many of our friends are theatre connections and we haven't done a good job of keeping up with them without the structure of regular rehearsals and shows.
Since becoming a mom, I've also found myself thinking a lot about religion and what role it should play in our daughter's lives. Neither Dane nor I is religious, but we both were raised going to church and think it was probably good for us. I like the community aspects of it. I think there are lots of good things about church, but am not interested in a dogmatic approach, or one that treats women as inferior.
I somewhat jokingly told Dane a while back that we should start "Art Church" in our basement. Get a group together to do artsy stuff every Sunday. I would LOVE that! Also, I'd like to be more involved in our community and in helping others and have opportunities for our kids to learn from this as well.
So I took this quiz at Beliefnet.com and it tells me I'm a match for unitarian universalism. I've heard of that, but didn't know much about it. So I googled "unitarian and Parker CO" and low and behold found a church I didn't know existed here in Parker. www.prarieuu.org
Reading their website, I was astounded to learn that my personal beliefs and desires are really mirrored in their philosophy. As I understand it, they gather together to learn and share. They are very accepting of different religious believes or none at all. I am hoping that Dane will feel comfortable with their tenants too. I really feel "called" to see what they are all about.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
A friend in China...
A new friend of mine is in China right now. She gets her baby tomorrow....Oh my! Actually I just did the conversion and because it's already tomorrow in China she should already have her new child! She was scheduled to meet her at 10 a.m. Monday. In China right now it's 2:02 p.m.! Congrats to Kellie and Carly and their whole family! They have been together four whole hours! Hopefully they are done with the paperwork and snuggling in the hotel room!
Kellie's new baby's Chinese name is Lian Tian Shi, which means Angel. She was born on May 5th, 2006. Does her name seem a little familiar? Yes, Carly is from Lianyungang just like our Tian Xin. They were certainly in the same room together! So it is really fun for us to follow Kellie's journey and live vicariously through her!
Kellie is hoping to visit the orphanage and will try to visit our Tian and take some photos if she can! We are anxiously following her trip to see if she get approval for a visit, and then if they will allow her to see Tian. Our hopes are high that we might have new photos later this week, but we know nothing is for certain. I just appreciate Kellie being willing to try!!!
I am also in contact with a few other people who plan to travel to Lianyungang later this month. And am always looking for more...
I also promise to try to do the same for anyone adopting after us. We got early photos of Clio this way and they are very precious to us. We also had the privilege of taking photos and video of several kids waiting at Clio's SWI (that's Social Welfare Institute...i.e. orphanage) and got to be a small part of their journey's home. The connections we've made in the adoption community are awesome!
Kellie's new baby's Chinese name is Lian Tian Shi, which means Angel. She was born on May 5th, 2006. Does her name seem a little familiar? Yes, Carly is from Lianyungang just like our Tian Xin. They were certainly in the same room together! So it is really fun for us to follow Kellie's journey and live vicariously through her!
Kellie is hoping to visit the orphanage and will try to visit our Tian and take some photos if she can! We are anxiously following her trip to see if she get approval for a visit, and then if they will allow her to see Tian. Our hopes are high that we might have new photos later this week, but we know nothing is for certain. I just appreciate Kellie being willing to try!!!
I am also in contact with a few other people who plan to travel to Lianyungang later this month. And am always looking for more...
I also promise to try to do the same for anyone adopting after us. We got early photos of Clio this way and they are very precious to us. We also had the privilege of taking photos and video of several kids waiting at Clio's SWI (that's Social Welfare Institute...i.e. orphanage) and got to be a small part of their journey's home. The connections we've made in the adoption community are awesome!
Great news from an online friend...
A friend indeed!
The connections I've made through adoption have been absolutely awesome! We made such good friends with people we met through Clio's adoption and I've "met" so many great people online. Our first trip we got to meet up with some of my online buddies in China! It was great!
I guess because parts of adoption are different and people who aren't doing it don't always understand, many adoptive parents seek each other out. There are tons of online groups of people from various agencies, people adopting at the same time, people with kids from the same orphanage and it goes on. I am currently a proud member of 64 such groups! Although I can only really keep up with about a dozen that I regularly check and respond too.
With the adoption of Tian, I joined several new ones including one for adoptive parents of kids with limb differences. There, I found a really wonderful, supportive community. Many of them gave me information and support when we were reviewing Tian's file. They sent me photos of their kids feet and videos of them running and doing karate! You can learn a lot from the Doctors, but you get the real story about what it is really like from the moms who have been there before.
I "met" my friend Wendy on that group. She has a beautiful little girl named Madeline who came home from China a little over a year ago. Madeline has very similar hands and feet to Tian and Wendy has been a wonderful resource and support. I've learned about Madeline's surgeries and what to expect for Tian.
Madeline goes to one of the top pediatric hand surgeons in the country, Dr. Scott Kozin in Philadelphia. Wendy volunteered to take Tian's photos to him at Madeline's surgery last week. Through this contact, Dr. Kozin agreed to consult with us and, if we are willing to travel to Philadelphia, to be Tian's doctor!
You might be wondering how that is possible or affordable...Dr. Kozin is a surgeon for Shiner's hospital. A wonderful organization who provides free care to children with orthopedic issues and burns. I didn't know anything about them until researching for Tian, but they are an awesome organization supported by the Masons. You can check them out here: http://www.shrinershq.org/
We are excited to get to talk to Dr. Kozin once we have Tian home!
The connections I've made through adoption have been absolutely awesome! We made such good friends with people we met through Clio's adoption and I've "met" so many great people online. Our first trip we got to meet up with some of my online buddies in China! It was great!
I guess because parts of adoption are different and people who aren't doing it don't always understand, many adoptive parents seek each other out. There are tons of online groups of people from various agencies, people adopting at the same time, people with kids from the same orphanage and it goes on. I am currently a proud member of 64 such groups! Although I can only really keep up with about a dozen that I regularly check and respond too.
With the adoption of Tian, I joined several new ones including one for adoptive parents of kids with limb differences. There, I found a really wonderful, supportive community. Many of them gave me information and support when we were reviewing Tian's file. They sent me photos of their kids feet and videos of them running and doing karate! You can learn a lot from the Doctors, but you get the real story about what it is really like from the moms who have been there before.
I "met" my friend Wendy on that group. She has a beautiful little girl named Madeline who came home from China a little over a year ago. Madeline has very similar hands and feet to Tian and Wendy has been a wonderful resource and support. I've learned about Madeline's surgeries and what to expect for Tian.
Madeline goes to one of the top pediatric hand surgeons in the country, Dr. Scott Kozin in Philadelphia. Wendy volunteered to take Tian's photos to him at Madeline's surgery last week. Through this contact, Dr. Kozin agreed to consult with us and, if we are willing to travel to Philadelphia, to be Tian's doctor!
You might be wondering how that is possible or affordable...Dr. Kozin is a surgeon for Shiner's hospital. A wonderful organization who provides free care to children with orthopedic issues and burns. I didn't know anything about them until researching for Tian, but they are an awesome organization supported by the Masons. You can check them out here: http://www.shrinershq.org/
We are excited to get to talk to Dr. Kozin once we have Tian home!
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Clio's 2nd 3rd Birthday!
Today Clio had her second party of the week. Her birthday is on the 4th of July which means she is treated to fireworks each birthday. She thinks they are just for her! It's a good holiday to share a birthday with, especially when it means she gets a second party the weekend after.
I wanted to give her a "real" birthday party this year with other little kids. We hadn't done that yet and instead celebrated with family. This seemed like the right opportunity before we bring her little sister home, but of course none of the party places are open on the 4th and all the kids are doing family stuff. So two parties it was. I sure hope she doesn't expect this every year!
We had the party at "Party On," our local bounce house and it was a big hit. The little ones went wild without having to fight through the big kids as usually happens in public bounce houses.
The theme of this years party seemed to be "dress up." She received all manner of sparkly, girly, pink and frilly princess, dancer and fairy costumes! I think we'll be having a princess party soon and parade a bunch of dressed up little girls throughout our neighborhood! I'll post a fashion show soon!
As a mom who did not originally embrace pink or princess stuff, I have to say I've turned the corner. With one little princess in residence and another on the way, I've decided to embrace it. My friend Kena who told me this would happen is proud. And really what is so bad about pink?
Thanks to everyone who came! It was really great to see all of you!
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